On Seeking Approval.
Prayer Hands (Blue), 11" X 15", mixed media on paper,
photo credit: Andrea Calo
Oh man, thanks for your responses to A Mighty Practice School. Y'all are awesome. Let's make some art!!!
This is your regularly scheduled newsletter (forgive the delay) and today I want to spiel about rejection. It's weird to talk about rejection when you just launched a big project, eh? Well not really. Anytime I make something and share it I'm reminded that rejection is out there, looming. Making shit is a vulnerable thing, man!
Occasionally I listen to the Life Coach School podcast with Brooke Castillo. She said something recently about rejection that really stuck with me:
'Anytime you create something you risk rejection, you risk losing approval.'
What we need to overcome the fear of rejection is confidence. But what exactly is confidence? Confidence, she explains, is your willingness to experience any emotion.
Damn. This is so true.
The most confident people I know seem like they can handle anything. Rejection, uncertainty, sadness, frustration. Whatever comes up, they can hold space for it and separate that feeling from their self-worth.
If you're a creative person this is essential. Confidence creates the necessary space between you and how your work is received. There will always be someone who does not approve of what you're doing - who thinks your shit stinks. That's OK. Not everyone is going to love your work. Rejection happens all the time. But confidence is your ability to keep going because you've created space for any possible reaction from the outside world.
So if you're scared to start a creative project, consider this:
Is your desire to seek approval (or prevent rejection), slowing you down from putting your work out there?
Think about it. 'Cause I promise you, the fear of rejection is never going away. You just gotta accept that doing the work you want to do is more important. More important than the opinions of your friends, or your parents, or random people on the internet.
It's tough stuff. Let's talk more about it this fall.
Psst: if you’re picking up what I’m putting down, sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter, A Mighty Practice:
