"Time is running out"

The other day I woke up and realized I was scratching 40. I don't know how it happened, but it seems I am approaching middle age. And like any middle-aged person, I started doing a little audit of my life.


Would my younger self be pleased with where I've landed?
Have I accomplished some of the creative goals I set out to reach?

Or a darker thought...

How much more time will I get to DO the work I want to do?


It's scary to think about.

I'm bringing this topic up because it's been at the heart of my coaching work this season. Many of my artists seem to be grappling with this feeling — like time is running out. Their creative clocks are ticking louder and LOUDER. Their desire to do their creative work is strong, but at the same time they feel stuck.

Maybe this feeling is coming up because (like me) they are approaching a ripe ol' middle age. Or maybe it's something different. Perhaps they lost someone and are experiencing the wake-up call that can accompany grief. Or perhaps their kids are getting older and it feels like time is speeding up! Lots of things can bring this feeling on.


But what's important to note, is the feeling of paralysis that can accompany the experience of "Time is running out." This paralysis is toxic to our creative lives.


We know something is important to us. We want to make that thing happen, but we don't know HOW. We have layers of fear and uncertainty that are blocking us from taking action. The stakes feel really HIGH, and because the stakes feel really HIGH, we have trouble making decisions. Or if you are on the more anxious side of the spectrum, you make LOTS of decisions, but you still feel like you're spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere.

Sound familiar?

Let's look at what's happening behind the statement: "Time is running out."


We're experiencing two strong, yet conflicting emotions: Urgency and Fear.


The urgency says "You have to do this! It's important! You value this! Let's GO!"

While the fear is saying "You're gonna mess this up! You're an imposter! If you haven't figured this out already, you never will!"


How do we allow the urgency to be a motivating force vs. a crippling force?
Here's the secret: lower the fucking stakes.


Let the urgency be a thoughtful guide vs. a pressure cooker that eats you alive. Change does not happen in gigantic leaps, it happens in tiny fucking baby steps. It is a PROCESS, not a single destination that you arrive at and finally everything is perfect. 

When I started building AMP, I was in a panic to figure out what I was "doing with my life." I had the urgency and the fear. I was in my early 30's and I was saying to myself "Girlfriend, you should have figured this out by now!"

But boy, that self-talk was not helping.

So I lowered the stakes. I took small actions every day. I accepted that I didn't have all the answers. I got a coach. I did some good ol' therapy. I accepted the messy middle that I was in, while working slowly toward the creative life I wanted to build. 

And ya know what? It's still not perfect, but damn do I feel differently. I feel a lot more patient and excited about the future.


So, what can you do to lower the stakes for yourself?


Sweet little baby steps, y'all.