A Better Way to Get Rejected

Lady of the Swamp (Blue), 18" X 24," Mixed media on paper, credit: Andrea Calo

Last newsletter I talked about rejection, which inspired me to dig deeper into this topic on my podcast. In my episode on Dealing with Rejection, I talk about what rejection is, why it cuts so deep, and how to keep going. I thought I would share some key takeaways from that episode here.

As an artist and human I've been rejected from so many things: 

Jobs.
Grad School.
Exhibitions.
Residencies. 
The Varsity Softball Team.
And after one particularly rough night ... a pizza place in downtown New York.

I could make you a very long list of everything I've been rejected from, but I'll spare you. I imagine you have a similar list. And If you're hurting from a recent rejection -- from something you were reallllly excited about -- you might need some tools to work through it.

Here's my advice on what to do after you experience rejection. These guidelines are more for professional goals, but they could apply to other arenas as well.

When you get rejected:

1. Say to yourself: "It's all good. I took action and that's what matters most. I will continue to take action even if I don't get the results I want immediately."


2. Don't make assumptions. Don't build a story around why you believe you were rejected! We like to tell ourselves all the ways we're doing it wrong, even if there is no evidence to support this. This is tremendously unhelpful. Which leads me to...


3. Get feedback. Sometimes we can't get feedback (ex: asking your Ex to fill out a survey on WHY you broke up would be awkward). But a lot of the times we can. It just takes guts to ask for it. When you ask for feedback you're admitting that you don't have the answer. This is uncomfortable. But, in order to grow we need to collect information.

There are certain things we can control and certain things we can't. Feedback helps us understand the difference. Ask your friends, colleagues, or teachers for feedback on your work. You'll be surprised how generous people can be!


4. Remind yourself WHY. Why do you love making art? Why do you want to share it? You get to decide why you're doing this. No one is forcing you. You have the power. Remembering this will be important when you're dusting yourself off from the next rejection. 


You can listen to the full podcast episode here. Pair it with a hot cup of tea. It will be a balm for your creative soul ...

Psst: if you’re picking up what I’m putting down, sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter, A Mighty Practice: